Proper Break Up

Semalem kebetulan nonton rerun sex and the city, yang episode "Hop, Skip And A Week" yang mana cuplikannya sebagai berikut:

"Carrie tries to figure out exactly what's going on with Berger. ....... Unfortunately, Berger's heart just isn't in it, and while she sleeps, Berger leaves Carrie in the dead of night, breaking it off via a solitary Post-it note stuck to her computer screen."

Oh Gosh, kebayang gag sih putus lewat post it? Painful break up and quite humiliating maybe? Anywy, thanks God gue never have to go thru a painful breakup w/ anybody. But onetime I did quite similar of what Berger did to Carrie minus the S** part tentunya. Saat itu gue kuliah during my sophomore years dan had a long distance relationship w/ someone back home. It wasn't serious and it was one relationship that I would regret for the rest of my life, not because I love him so much but because I was out of pity. I knew him for ages and he's been asking me out since we're in junior high but I always turn him down but during my senior years (the very last month of it), I said ok for knowing I'll be heading to state soon.

Well, you know being alone for the first time in a foreign land makes you want to explore other things such as drinking, partying and all other stuff...hey, give me a break I'm only 18 at that time :P Anyway, I always knew that deep down I don't and will never love him the way he loves me. There's one time I didn't return his call for almost 6 weeks and he had to call my friend to ask me how am I dong down there. After awhile I called him and told him that we better break it off but he refused to do so. I said well ok, I can't promise you anything but he said he'll wait for me and no way he wanted this to end. Giving another few weeks, I wrote him a letter and told him that "by reading this you know.. I'm breaking up with you...I tried to tell you over the phone but you won't listen. So from now on please consider yourself free to the market" Sounds sadistic? Hmm maybe...but at that time I have no idea how to breaking up with him and there's no use lying to myself for saying I miss you or love youw hich I know it's totally BS.

Not only I wasted his life and feelings for me but I also lost a friend...a very best friend in fact. That's why I regret the day I said yes to him. And as what Berger wrote on the note:

"I'm sorry..I can't..please don't hate me"